


then only gravity remains

by transfinn



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Force Bond (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Finn, Force-Sensitive Poe Dameron, Slow Build, Trans Character, a tiny bit but it influences the story enough to warrant a tag, takes place after tfa, trans Finn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-02-27 08:17:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13244244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transfinn/pseuds/transfinn
Summary: “I like my name. Finn. It suits me.” Finn smiles. He likes smiling. “And you gave it to me, and you kind of saved my life, so I’ll keep it.”--In the process of recovering from the First Order, Finn finds out some things about himself. Poe does too.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I saw the last Jedi and decided it doesn't exist. Here's my fic.  
> A lot of the tagged characters will appear later.
> 
> Title from [insane](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_eqMfEzXuM).

Finn wakes up with Rey's name on his lips.

He's confused, disoriented. He doesn't know where he is, all he knows is that it was snowing and there was red and blue and Rey and…

“Oh god. Oh my god.” Finn is about to move when the pain sets in.

He makes an involuntary noise and grits his teeth and squeezes his eyes closed, because even in training nothing had ever really _hurt_ before.

“Finn, hey, buddy, are you okay?” The voice is semi-familiar, and Finn tries to place it but his back is _distracting_ him, and he wishes it would _stop_ so he can _listen_ he wants to _listen_ and place whoever is talking to him because he _knows that voice_

The next time Finn's eyes open, he hurts a lot less.

“Buddy…?” It's the same voice.

Finn's brain clicks into place. “Poe?”

“You're okay.” Poe sounds so relieved.

Finn turns his head, and there's Poe, jacket on his lap and worry written all over his face.

“Is Rey okay?”

Poe smiles a little, more sad than Finn was expecting. “She's okay, as far as I know. She left a while ago to go find Luke.”

“Define a while ago?”

“Weeks.”

“Oh god.” Finn looks up at the ceiling.

“You were hurt pretty bad. It's lucky you survived.”

_Lucky._

Finn shuts his eyes. “When did I wake up before? I remember that.”

“A week ago, maybe, before you were really healing. The doctors put you back to sleep. They thought it would be best if it was for a while.”

Finn looks over again. Poe is staring at the jacket, at the huge gash down the back and the messy stitches that keep it together.

“You thought I died.”

“I thought you died.” Poe is quiet.

“We're even, then.” Finn smiles.

Poe laughs, although whether it's because of Finn's joke or because he really thought Finn died can't be discerned.

There’s silence between them, but it's not awkward. They're just existing side by side. 

Finn is thinking.

“Do you know how badly I'm hurt?” He finally asks. 

“Really bad. Lightsaber wounds are really bad.” Poe sounds concerned, distressed, worried. “Can you feel things?”

“It hurts.” Finn counts the cracks in the ceiling. “But I think all of my body is here.”

“That’s, that's good.” 

Finn looks over, confusion on his face. “What's wrong?”

“Listen, Finn, I’m sorry.” Poe’s hands twist together. “I didn't know… And you can, you can totally change your name if you don't like it, it was a heat of the moment thing.”

“I like my name. Finn. It suits me.” Finn smiles. He likes smiling. “And you gave it to me, and you kind of saved my life, so I’ll keep it.”

Poe still looks slightly distressed and uncomfortable. “Like the jacket.”

“Yeah. Did you fix it?”

“Jessika taught me how to sew.” Poe lifts up the jacket and holds it so Finn can see it better. The stitches are big and not super pretty, but it's the thought that counts. Finn can't believe Poe cared about him enough to fix the jacket and wait for him to wake up. “It's not the best, but…”

“I love it.” Finn says. 

Poe sets the jacket back on his lap. There's a touch of pink on his cheeks. “Thanks, buddy.” 

“Do you know when I'll be able to get up?” Finn wants to stand again. He wants to help. 

“Tomorrow, I think? I can push for today if you want. The sooner you start physical therapy, the better you'll be.”

“Today. I want to be moving.” Finn _hates_ lying there, immobile, just able to look at Poe and the ceiling. He wants to help. He wants to hug Poe again. 

“Alright.” Poe stands and hangs the jacket on the back of his chair. “I’ll ask about it. No guarantees, though.”

Finn shuts his eyes and listens to Poe leaving. 

Once he can stand, he's going to find Rey.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Maybe you need more rest.” There's such softness and care in Poe’s eyes. “Don't push and hurt yourself more.”

Sitting up is painful. 

Finn grits his teeth and bears it while the doctor helps get him out of the bacta suit he's been encased in for the past few weeks. 

He breathes as the doctor dresses his would. She explains in a nice voice that he’ll have to come back to get the bandages changed every day, and to not do much physical exercise and that he’s gonna need help walking around. 

“Poe will help me.” Finn says without thinking, and she smiles. 

“Of course he will. Anyone would be lucky to.” She turns, and then hands him a stack of clothing. “Put this on and then see how you feel.”

Raising his arms above his head makes him cry out in pain, a short noise that has the doctor moving immediately to help him. 

Finn isn't embarrassed that he needs help getting dressed. It's less painful to have a second pair of hands help ease on his shirt. He can do his underwear and pants by himself, grimacing just a little from the pain. 

He just has to remember his training. He can handle this. It may be a lightsaber wound, but he can handle this. 

Poe bursts through the door once he's allowed in, concern clearly written on his face. “Buddy, are you okay?”

“I will be.” Finn’s smile probably doesn't come off that way. “It hurts.”

“Maybe you need more rest.” There's such softness and care in Poe’s eyes. “Don't push and hurt yourself more.”

“I want to get better. I want to help.” 

“Moving will help. He just shouldn't exert himself too much.” The doctor chimes in. “If he checks in with me for physical therapy and changing his bandages every day, he should recover.”

“Quickly?” Poe asks. 

“Quick enough. Lightsaber wounds take time.” She smiles.

Poe seems to be put more at ease. “I’ll watch out for him.”

“Alright, Finn, come on and try standing.”

Finn immediately reaches for Poe, and with his support Finn stands slowly, wavering a little bit on his feet. He takes one step, then another, steadied by his arm across Poe’s shoulders and Poe’s arm across his back. 

It hurts, but Finn only cares that he's up and awake and moving. 

Finn’s given a cane and a shot of painkillers and help with getting Poe's jacket on, and after ten minutes of a lecture of what to do and what not to do and how to use the cane and that if anything felt unnatural to report immediately to the medbay, Finn and Poe and sent on their way.

“What now?” Finn asks. 

“It's almost dinner time. You should come and really meet my pilots.” Poe grins at Finn, whatever was plaguing his mind earlier seemingly gone. “They're itching to meet you.”

There's people staring at Finn as he walks by. 

“You were there when I woke up.” Finn says. 

Poe smiles again, just a twitch at the edge of his lips. “I promised Rey I would wait and tell her when you woke up.”

“Rey…” Finn is burning with questions. 

“You can talk to her later, buddy.” Poe says, turning a corner into a large room. “Right now you should eat. You need it.”

Finn sticks close to Poe, follows him and watches as he picks up two containers with a laugh to the people he passes. There's a circular table in one of the corners, surrounded by laughing faces Finn doesn't really know. 

There's two open seats next to each other, and that's where Finn and Poe sit. 

“Poe!” A smiling face is the first to greet them. “You're late!”

“I was helping Finn.” Poe returns the grin, setting a container and utensils in front of Finn before opening his own. 

Finn realizes how hungry he is when he looks at the food. 

“Finally on your feet, huh?” The voice right next to him is almost sly. “Poe has not shut up about you.”

“Shut up, Snap.” Poe sounds embarrassed. 

“He was very worried.” That voice is much gentler. “He cares about you a lot.”

“Okay!” Poe’s voice is a little bit louder than it needs to be, and Finn’s training represses a flinch. “Introductions, since Finn doesn't know you guys.”

“I'm Snap!” Snap claps a hand on Finn’s shoulder. “Good to finally meet you!”

“Jessika Pava, at your service, mister Finn savior-of-the-resistance-and-also-Poe.” Jessika says the last bit like its one word. Finn is very confused by that, but doesn't ask. 

“Karé.” Karé belongs to the gentle voice. “I hope everyone else is not too overwhelming.”

“I am Iolo!” Iolo’s voice carries the same confidence of Poe’s. “And from what I've heard, you're pretty cool, kid.”

“I'm Finn.” Finn says. He feels slightly overwhelmed. They're smiling, talking, each one drastically different. By his age, stormtroopers had lost the individuality of youth and succumbed to the cold conformity of the First Order. 

Just thinking about his past sent shivers down his still-healing spine. 

“You should eat.” Poe's voice snaps Finn back to the present. “Keep your strength up for healing.”

“Nice jacket.” Jessika says around a mouthful of food. “Guess who helped Poe sew that baby back up?”

“It looks like you stapled it.” Iolo leans back in his seat so he can look around Poe and at Finn's back. 

“Bigger thread was more efficient!” 

Finn half-listens to their bickering as he opens his container and begins to eat. 

Luckily everything is in bite-sized pieces, so he doesn't have to fumble with anything that he doesn't know how to use. He eats, and listens, and is startled when he's addressed again by Karé. 

“Finn, you're walking. It's good that you are doing so so soon after you awoke.” Karé has a soft smile. 

“Um, yeah, I guess so.” Eye contact is distressing, so Finn stares down at his mostly-eaten food. “It's good that I'm walking at all, really.”

“You'll have lots of physical therapy.” Karé’s stare burns holes into Finn’s skull. “I can offer advice, or help, if you would like me to.”

“Karé was nearly paralyzed after a crash.” Poe offers an explanation. “So they know things.”

Finn looks up to see Poe grinning at him. 

“Um, yeah, I'd like advice.” Finn smiles hesitantly back before turning his attention back to Karé. “I'll talk to you about it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things should hopefully pick up more next chapter. 
> 
> I don't know things about the pilots so if their characterizations are incorrect I just don't know things


End file.
